Wrap Rage

Arrrggghh!!!

Usually I can go quite a while before getting upset enough to rant and rave. Today’s target, and one that truly deserves a double barrel full of rant, is packaging.

What is up with companies and packaging? Don’t they want me, the consumer, to purchase their products? If so why do they package items in such a way that require a jackhammer and blasting caps to open?

I get that companies don’t want their products to be stolen or tampered with, but there has to be a line between tamper resistant packaging and the use of dynamite to open a bag of ‘effing potato chips!

The biggest perpetrator of causing wrap rage has to be child proof packaging.

I have kids so I understand the thought behind making toxic products difficult for children to open. But you know what? Kids can open them! As a matter of fact, kids are just about the only creatures on this planet that can get these things open, with the exception of raccoons.

Now that my kids are grown, why do I still have to go through the trials and tribulations of trying to get child proof packages open? I should be beyond that now. Right?

I think companies ought to offer “adult” versions of packaged products. But apparently we adults can’t be trusted left to our own devices.

Give me a lighter that I can actually light. Give me an aspirin bottle that won’t actually cause my headache to get worse whilst trying to open the damn thing. And why does Roundup weedkiller come with a child resistant cap?

These caps are supposed to be difficult for children to open but relatively easy for adults to open. This is a protocol that is supposed to actually be tested:

Regulations require designs to be tested to verify that most adults can access the package.

What I want to know is, who the hell is testing these products? You have to have a Kung-Fu grip in order to get some products open.

Sure I could get a pair of scissors to open packages but you know what? The scissors are probably wrapped in hard plastic blister packs! So I’d need a pair of scissors to open the package of scissors.

There is a chip company (Garden of Eatin’) that makes fantastic chips but I refuse to buy their products. Why? Because I feel like a wuss trying to get the bag open! Want to feel like a completely incompetent male? Struggle with a bag of these chips for half and hour while your honey waits, and watches, and laughs.

With the holidays upon us, now is the time to remember to be careful out there! Packages are waiting to strike!

Consumers suffer thousands of injuries per year, such as cut fingers and sprained wrists, from tools used to open packages and from the packaging itself.

What kind of tools?

Consumers sometimes use potentially unsafe tools such as razor blades, boxcutters, snips and ice picks in their attempts to open packages.

Wow! At least I’m not alone.

Related articles

• Customer “wrap rage” gains retail support (cbsnews.com)
• The Push for Rage-Free Packaging (businessweek.com)