Out of sheer boredom, I watched a couple of shows on Animal Planet called “Finding Bigfoot.” I found them entertaining because the “expert team of true believers,” as they are self-proclaimed, found tons and tons of evidence of Bigfoot (or Sasquatch, depending on your terminology).
Eyewitnesses gathered at town hall meetings and shared their experiences with the team. The team then “confirmed” the reports as actual Bigfoot encounters based on the flimsiest of information.
Several shows centered around wooded areas in close proximity to the Appalachian Trail.
I spent over 140 days on the trail last year and never once encountered a Bigfoot. Not one!
I’m feeling robbed.
I even carried beef jerky most of the time I was hiking.
Then I discovered the truth about Bigfoot.
Yep, that explains everything. Which is why these Bigfoot researchers will never, ever find Bigfoot. They’re not looking for a large, slightly out of focus animal.
Maybe big foot’s a vegetarian and that’s why the beef jerky didn’t work. I’ve heard those strange vegetarians never eat that stuff